Tuesday, July 29, 2008

After 9 Drinks, I Couldn't Even SAY "Pentailed Shrew"

It couldn't have possibly been just me.

An article in the esteemed Scientific American reports that certain animals do indeed seek out alcohol, and not just cast-aside manmade stuff. Seems that a local palm tree churns out some stuff that's about 3.8% alcohol, complete with a head on it. Turns out that pentailed shrews...



and slow lorises...



are quite the topers. According to the article:

They regularly guzzle the equivalent of about nine drinks a night—though they don’t display what we’d consider drunken behavior.

Sounds like some folks I know.

Come to think of it, "slow loris" and "pentailed shrew" sounds like some folks I know, too.

Don't even worry about having too much to drink any more. Apparently it's completely natural. Just be sure to invite Slow Loris and Pentailed Shrew along so that you'll have a designated driver.

8 comments:

lacochran's evil twin said...

So when people call me a shrew, they're really saying I can hold my liquor? Cool!

Gilahi said...

Only if you're pentailed.

GreenCanary said...

"Slow Loris." I like the sound of that... I think I will choose that to be my superhero name. "HAVE NO FEAR! Slow Loris is here!"

Gilahi said...

Yeah, I think that might strike a little more fear into evildoers' hearts than "Stop what you do! I'm pentailed shrew."

Although they might just fall down laughing at that point.

Bilbo said...

It seems to me that being a pentailed shrew is preferable to being a slow loris because a pentailed shrew is never without a a built-in writing instrument, while a slow loris is just...well...slow.

[F]oxymoron said...

... Despite high alcohol levels, however, the furry little nippers didn’t get fuzzy...

How unfortunate!

Kate said...

If only I'd known there were trees to suck on when I was still drinking. Dang. I could have avoided that late night drunken driving!

Gilahi said...

Bilbo - You shouldn't make fun of the lorises just because they're slow. I wonder how all those parents feel when they see signs on their streets that announce to the world that there are "Slow Children Playing". It's sad, really.

Foxy - Gotta wonder what the point is, don't you? Like non-alcoholic beer. Who needs it?

Kate - Not to mention all the money you'd have saved.

 
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