It couldn't have possibly been just me.
An article in the esteemed Scientific American reports that certain animals do indeed seek out alcohol, and not just cast-aside manmade stuff. Seems that a local palm tree churns out some stuff that's about 3.8% alcohol, complete with a head on it. Turns out that pentailed shrews...
and slow lorises...
are quite the topers. According to the article:
They regularly guzzle the equivalent of about nine drinks a night—though they don’t display what we’d consider drunken behavior.
Sounds like some folks I know.
Come to think of it, "slow loris" and "pentailed shrew" sounds like some folks I know, too.
Don't even worry about having too much to drink any more. Apparently it's completely natural. Just be sure to invite Slow Loris and Pentailed Shrew along so that you'll have a designated driver.
8 comments:
So when people call me a shrew, they're really saying I can hold my liquor? Cool!
Only if you're pentailed.
"Slow Loris." I like the sound of that... I think I will choose that to be my superhero name. "HAVE NO FEAR! Slow Loris is here!"
Yeah, I think that might strike a little more fear into evildoers' hearts than "Stop what you do! I'm pentailed shrew."
Although they might just fall down laughing at that point.
It seems to me that being a pentailed shrew is preferable to being a slow loris because a pentailed shrew is never without a a built-in writing instrument, while a slow loris is just...well...slow.
... Despite high alcohol levels, however, the furry little nippers didn’t get fuzzy...
How unfortunate!
If only I'd known there were trees to suck on when I was still drinking. Dang. I could have avoided that late night drunken driving!
Bilbo - You shouldn't make fun of the lorises just because they're slow. I wonder how all those parents feel when they see signs on their streets that announce to the world that there are "Slow Children Playing". It's sad, really.
Foxy - Gotta wonder what the point is, don't you? Like non-alcoholic beer. Who needs it?
Kate - Not to mention all the money you'd have saved.
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