Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Randomness I

It took me a while to decide whether or not to record some randomness as one long-ish post or use it as fodder for several smaller ones. After I started it, I decided to go with the latter option. I don't blog all that often, so I may as well spread out what I'm thinking about over a few days.

Here's the first one.


I don't know if they're nationwide or not, but there's a grocery store on the east coast called "Giant". The one near my office has a decent salad bar which of which I occasionally avail myself.

By the way, why do we always avail ourselves? Let's be neighborly and avail somebody else from time to time.

Anyway, my wife and I have this running small joke where she'll ask what I had for lunch and I'll reply "a Giant salad". This leads to much hilarity as we discuss how I could possibly eat the whole thing, how I had to rent a truck to get it back to my office, how I probably won't want any dinner now, etc.

Yes, we've been married long enough that we've already completely recycled the good jokes a couple of times and now we're down to this.

It occurs to me, though, that since Giant has a store brand for nearly everything, one could possibly turn this to one's advantage, maybe in terms of blossoming relationships:

"Are you coming over tonight?"
"Yes, I just need to stop and get a pack of Giant condoms. "

One probably wouldn't want to mention it if they were stopping off to get some Giant stool softener, though.


GreenCanary said...

"Giant stool softener." *snort*

Gilahi said...

That's me, urbane and sophisticated.

Marissa said...

The Giant salad bar by my work is TIGHT. The key to availing oneself there, however, is getting in before others avail themselves. After 12 p.m., the place is a hot mess. I will never avail others. I saw someone once get their whole salad, realize they didn't really want it and proceed to try to put it all back. NOT TIGHT.

Gilahi said...

Oh my God. It never even occurred to me that anyone might try to do that. I don't know if I'll ever be able to face one of those salad bars again.

What is it with people?

I can see a situation where I might avail somebody else.

Shannon said...

Salad bars are completely disgusting, no matter what you do. Better to just enjoy your lunch and not worry about it.

Bilbo said...

You may wish to vary your supermarket jokes by trying another chain. For instance, you might stop off for some Safeway lubricating jelly...

Gilahi said...

Shannon - Even the ones with sneeze shields?

Bilbo - I suspect that I could really chow down on some Harris-Teeter tots.

Shannon said...

Gilahi, the sneeze shields collect, distill, and supplement the bacterial content of your sneezes, then distribute it across the cherry tomatoes.

I just made that up, but didn't it sound SMART?

Gilahi said...

shannon - OK, here's how the salad bar folks can save some money. Move the cherry tomatoes, put an empty contain where they were, and put up a little label that says "Green Goddess Dressing".

Why I'm not filthy rich, I'll never know.

Capitol Hill 20210 said...

omg I am wiping my screen from the coffee spit all over it. funny funny

Gilahi said...

:-) Glad you liked it. Maybe you should avail yourself of some Giant paper towels.

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