Monday, August 3, 2009

"Gimme a head with hair. Long, beautiful hair" - from "Hair"

I got a haircut last week.

I've mentioned more than once in this space that I wear my hair long. If I happen to mention a haircut to someone, they often say, "You get your hair cut?"

No. I let it grow down between my shoulder blades and by sheer force of my indomitable will I make it stop right there.

But even before it was long, I got the response that every guy on the planet who has hair has gotten. Walk into the office, your local bar, school, church, AA, whatever, and someone will inevitably say, "You got a haircut!"


What is it that makes people want to tell you something about yourself that should be pretty obvious to you? I used to think that perhaps I could stop this activity with smart-ass rejoinders.

"I got 'em all cut."

"No, I washed it in very hot water and it shrank."

Didn't faze anybody. After spending an hour in a chair for a wash, cut, and blow-dry, then shelling out a month's salary for the privilege of smelling like a French brothel for the rest of the day, people still felt compelled to tell me just in case I hadn't noticed.

A couple of years ago, I lost my mind one night and shaved off my beard. Everyone I met the next day said, "You SHAVED!"

"No, I just decided to grow it inward for a while."

"You have an uncanny knack for grasping the obvious."

"What was your first clue, my total lack of chin or the IV I'm attached to because of the blood loss?"

What's the special thing about changing your hair or facial hair that makes people feel they need to tell you what you've done to yourself? Nobody ever says, "You put on deodorant!", "You took a bath!", "You finally flicked that thing out of your nose!" It's the failure to do these things that elicits comments, and then it's usually behind your back. I'm tempted to start every conversation from now on with "Your hair is exactly the same!"

Just stop it. Resist the urge. Guys know when they've done these things.

You read my blog!


Malnurtured Snay said...

I think it's the shock of seeing someone do something different -- like, can you imagine Chewie walking into the Falcon's cockpit completely shorn and Han's reaction? "You shaved! Good lord, put on pants!"

Gilahi said...

Snay - My suspicion is that the reason Chewbacca doesn't shave is because he's really Jimmy Hoffa.

LiLu said...

People like that deserve a dose of Captain Obvious.

My faovirte is when they announce it, but don't follow up with an opinion... you might as well just tell me you hate it. Same thing.

Gilahi said...

LiLu - I'd almost rather have no followup than the non-compliment:

"My, that certainly is... unique."

"So why did you decide to do that?"

"I used to wear my hair sort of like that. Before I got a job."

Mike said...

I always get the 'you got a haircut' comment. I usually only get it cut every two months or so. I fact I need one now. Maybe in a couple of weeks I'll get around to it. And yes I've tried to pay for haircuts with round tuits.

Gilahi said...

Mike - I presume you've been less than successful with the whole round tuit thing.

Maybe you should just get, like 1/4" of hair cut every week.

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