Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Random Bits & Pieces



A few random thoughts from my list of blog ideas. None of them seem to lend themselves to complete posts, so I'll just list them here.

  1. Just in case you read this, Mb, I haven't forgotten that you tagged me for a meme, nor am I ignoring it. I'm just having a hard time finding the keepsake I wanted to talk about. Some keepsake, huh? I'll get to it, I promise.

  2. I've never been one to argue the relative benefits of animals, but I can't help but notice one thing: There are stores that successfully sell worms, leeches, and crickets, but people in front of the library have a hard time giving cats away.

  3. University of Maryland University College - Is that the stupidest name for a school you ever heard of? For those of you outside of the DC area, this is a real school that advertises on TV constantly. I can't decide if this institution was founded by really forgetful people or stutterers. If they're going to reuse multiple synonyms in their name, they could have come up with a better acronym than UMUC: Maryland University Scholastic Institute College (MUSIC), Maryland Institute Scholastic College University for Education (MISCUE), Academic Scholastic School/Halls Of Learning and Education (ASSHOLE). You can see that the possibilities are endless. Why UMUC? They may as well have called it Maryland University University Maryland University University (MUUMUU).

  4. You hear people say, "I couldn't believe my eyes/ears", but no one ever says, "I couldn't believe my nose!" Is your nose somehow more trustworthy than your other body parts? What about your spleen? Can you trust your spleen?

  5. The best way to make the highest score you've ever had on any video game is to be playing it when your spouse/SO says, "OK, I'm ready to go now". And no matter how much you try to explain that it's your highest score ever and if you stop now you'll lose it and this is bigbigbigbig, it's somehow not as important to your spouse/SO as their sibling's wedding that you're already late for.

  6. Didja ever notice that most people who talk about how much they LOVE New York City are the people who have left it? If it means that much to you, go back. The last thing we need here is yet another import telling us at every opportunity how the place they're from is better than the place they've chosen to be. And I don't care what you say, you always have choices. If it really means that much to you, you'll find some way to get back there. Otherwise, we just don't want to hear it.

  7. Why are there no seedless lemons? There are seedless oranges, tangerines, watermelons (sort of), etc. We're always juicing lemons and having to pick out those slimy seeds. How hard could it be to come up with seedless lemons?

  8. Really, on a purely objective level, how can you ever tell how contented a cow actually is? They pretty much look the same no matter what. How do we know the best milk comes from contented cows? Maybe the best milk comes from cows that are white hot with rage. We just don't know how to judge cow moods.

  9. Geek Alert: If odometers were in binary instead of decimal, my car would have 63 miles on it. On the other hand, if they were in hexadecimal, my car would have 1,118,481 miles on it.

That's all. Any questions above are mostly rhetorical, but if you want to answer any of them in the comments, please feel free. Also, any more Maryland University College School Institution Maryland University University University University acronyms could be fun.

14 comments:

Herb of DC said...

If you had ever tried baiting a fish line with a cat you would understand the sales popularity of worms.

Gilahi said...

Herb - Growing up in the south, I have actually been catfishing on several occasions.

lacochran said...

But U-MUC is so euphonious!

Gilahi said...

la - I dunno, it sounds like something an upset child would yell on the playground when he doesn't get chosen for softball. "Oh yeah? Well UMUC!"

Mike said...

Texas almost came up with a school call Sam Houston Institute of Technology.

Mike said...

called .... sheesh

Gilahi said...

Mike - There is a possibly-apocryphal story about the sudden realization, after receiving their uniforms with the arm patches in place, about the name of the Duke University Marching Band. And I was actually in a restaurant one day that had a sign up welcoming the members of Clemson University New Technology.

Gilahi said...

And you shouldn't feel bad about verb tense after reading my first sentence there....

urban bohemian said...

I had a friend that worked at UMUC for a while. I used to enjoy calling him up at his office because he could never say "UMUC" properly. It cracked me up to no end to hear him mangle it, though I'm sure his bosses weren't as amused.

Gilahi said...

Brian - How does one mangle "UMUC"? I can't imagine that there are more than 2 or 3 ways it could be pronounced. Maybe your friend should sue them because they caused him mental stress.

Bilbo said...

I stand in awe of your ability to get so many blogworthy concepts into one post. I really must do better once I get back from our vacation...

Gilahi said...

Bilbo - (Don't know why I always mistype "Biblo" at first... maybe it has something to do with that linguistics degree you have) Thanks. It's not so much a matter of squeezing a bunch of things into one post as it is of not being creative enough to work an entire post out of any of them.

Mb said...

No worries on the keepsake post. Will keep checking back.

Gilahi said...

Mb - Thanks. Sometimes I don't do so well under pressure.

 
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