Thursday, August 13, 2009

Making an Informed Decision

I suppose it's possible that at some point in my life I will cease to be amazed at how some people get by in the world, but I'm beginning to lose hope. I'm just back from lunch and this is the conversation between a Subway employee and a customer just behind me:

Customer: How much is a 6-inch tuna?
Employee: [pointing at the menu just over her head] Four dollars.
Customer: How big is it?
Employee: How big is a 6-inch sandwich?
Customer: Yes.
Employee: Um... 6 inches?
Customer: You mean, like, onetwothreefourfivesix?
Employee: Yes.
Customer: Oh. In that case give me two foot-long Spicy Italians.

I think this might qualify for a page in one of my favorite blogs.

Try as I might, I simply cannot fathom the thought processes, if they can be called that, of the customer while this conversation was taking place.

Did she think she might confuse the employee into giving her two foot-long meat sandwiches for the price of one 6-inch tuna? Is there some form of "6" besides onetwothreefourfivesix that I'm not aware of? Does anyone really walk into a Subway thinking to themselves, "I'm gonna have either a 6-inch tuna or two feet of Spicy Italian"?

Isn't this like getting all the details for a one-way flight to Atlanta and then buying 2 round-trip tickets to Omaha?

It makes me wonder if she asks the person at Home Depot how tall their 8-foot stepladders are, or the person at the 7-11 how much a 32-ounce Big Gulp holds.

Life just shouldn't be this difficult, people. I'm only thankful that she was behind me and not in front of me.

No, I'm also thankful that I don't work in retail.


lacochran said...


People. *shakes head*

Gilahi said...

la - This is why I like dogs. You can pretty much always tell what they're thinking and they don't ask stupid questions.

Mike said...

"Employee: Um... 6 inches?"

He could have said, "here, let me show you something to compare."

Gilahi said...

Mike - Except that the employee was a woman too, and we all know that they've been lied to all their lives about what 6 inches really looks like.

LiLu said...

At least they're providing blog fodder for the more intelligent...

Everyone has their purpose.

Gilahi said...

LiLu - Hadn't thought about it in those terms. The Internet would be a much quieter place if not for all the stupid people.

J.M. Tewkesbury said...


Stuff like this makes me want to crawl into bed and stay there.

Gilahi said...

J.M. - I know what you mean. Of course, it doesn't take much for me to crawl into bed and stay there.

shine said...

I'm always going to prefer two feet of spicy Italian.

Stupid and bizarre people are here for our amusement. You know, so we don't have to maim the people who drive us crazy at work or whatever.

Gilahi said...

shine - Good point. Everybody has a purpose in life, I guess.

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