Thursday, July 30, 2009

"I Wanna Hold Your Hand" - The Beatles



[Note: Despite the fact that today is Thursday, this post is TMI only in that it was an embarrassing event that happened to me. There is no content which is sexual, scatalogical, menstrual, involving vomit, or in any other way disgusting. You have been warned.]

When I was a teenager, the glaciers receded and left in their wake ice cream parlors, Pizza Hut, movie theaters, and other places to which teenagers could go relatively inexpensively for a date. I was out with my then girlfriend, Joy, to see a movie. I don't remember what the movie was, but it must have been hugely popular because there was an enormous throng of teenagers pressed tightly together in front of the concession stand before the feature started.

Now, as teenagers are wont to do, Joy and I were hanging all over each other. Conjoined twins are no closer together than she and I were. She was standing to my left. I had my left arm around her waist, she had her right arm around my waist, and I was holding her left hand in my right hand across the front of our bodies. Got the image? Take a moment to visualize it, because it's important.

We had been standing there for some time waiting for our shot at a barrel full of popcorn, a freight-car size box of Milk Duds, and a 55-gallon drum of Coke. All the while there's laughter, waist-squeezing, and hand-caressing going on. We were joking and talking and looking forward to a sugar-coma inducing, bladder-stretching couple of hours in a dark theater when I happened to glance over just in time to see Joy tuck a wisp of hair behind her ear.

With the hand that I was still holding.

A quick glance down confirmed that it was actually not Joy's hand that I was holding. Surprise. Leaning forward and looking to my left, I saw another teenage couple standing next to Joy. Remember how we were standing? This couple was standing in a mirror configuration to us. The girl was standing next to Joy and her date was standing to her left. Suprise squared.

For the past 10 minutes or so, I had been holding, squeezing, and sensually caressing the hand of a total stranger. A male total stranger. He and I both came to the realization of what was going on at the same instant, and pulled our hands away from each other so fast that we almost hit a few more total strangers.

Fortunately, we were all able to get a good laugh out of it. Joy never did let me live it down.

So Joy, if you're out there and happen to read this, the whole world now knows the truth.

You have man hands.

14 comments:

LiLu said...

Awwwwww. I'm linking this despite your "lack of TMI," because it's that damn cute.

Gilahi said...

LiLu - Yeah, "cute" is what I go for in this space.

Melissa B. said...

Funny! And speaking of the Beatles, are you going to Paul McCartney at FedEx on Saturday?

Gilahi said...

Melissa - Actually, I'm not. I saw Mr. McCartney on the "Band On The Run" tour back in the day, and I'm sure I paid a fraction of the current ticket price. Are you going?

Sean said...

So does that mean that you have woman hands?

Gilahi said...

Sean - Not sure I'd go that far, but I do have small enough hands that it's difficult for me to reach certain chords on a guitar or certain spans on a piano. They're hairy, though, so probably not so womanish.

Stephanie said...

That is awesome! I had to reread it to make sure I read it right...because of the allergy meds I'm doped up on right now. That was great! (really, that isn't the meds talking, I am for realz!)

Gilahi said...

Stephanie - So glad you liked it! I often find things funnier when I'm on, um, "allergy meds" too!

Zan said...

Love how you totally turned it around on Joy.

Gilahi said...

Zan - You didn't think I'd make it my fault, did you?

Herb of DC said...

Joy and I have been Tweeting about this and she is not happy with you. (Admittedly she is using the Blackberry with the extra large keyboard.)

Gilahi said...

Herb - How is Joy? I'm surprised she can afford a Blackberry with all the extra fees she has to pay to her manicurist.

Mike said...

I think I might have cut my hand off.

Gilahi said...

Mike - Sorry, but I need that hand. I especially needed it when I was a teenager.

 
Add to Technorati Favorites