Fusion Cuisine

We recently passed a restaurant that said that it offered, simply, "fusion cuisine". It occurred to me that that's not really very descriptive. This is a "fusion" of what types of cuisine?

Can I get spaghetti & matzoh balls? Maybe some nice tandoori crab cakes? A big slab of lutefisk in bearnaise sauce? A little sauerbraten au gratin? How many rolls do I get with haggis sushi?

Then again, why do I assume that we're limited to "fusing" only two kinds of cuisine?

I'd like a plate of the stir-fried herring in garam masala, please. Can I substitute refried beans for the fried okra that comes with the toad-in-the-hole? How fresh is the reindeer in the paella aspic?

Heck, since we've completely left the box here, why limit it to just the food that's being offered?

Is it acceptable to eat grits a la greque with chopsticks? Should you remove your shoes when entering Sukiyaki's Irish Pub & Deli? Do you need a lobster bib for those pickled escargot tacos?

For what it's worth, we really did see "Bill & Harry's Chinese Restaurant" on the latest excursion. Wish I'd had a camera with me. It seems to me that anyone who wants to open a Chinese restaurant and chooses to call it "Bill & Harry's" is just advertising the fact that they're not very good decision makers. Not at all sure I'd trust the food there.

It's good to be back in Washington, where every restaurant in the city, no matter the ethnicity, is serving "tapas". Except for weekends until 1:00, where the only meal available is brunch. Maybe this weekend I'll have a kippers florentine omelet.