Saturday, June 21, 2008

The Official Blog of Unrelated Things Day

I was clipping coupons this morning. Yeah, Mr. Excitement, that's me. I came across a coupon for a particular brand of cookie that styles itself as being pretty upscale. As if a cookie can have cache. This is like calling your product "Donald Trump Short Ribs" or "The Ritz Carlton E-Z Storage Facility".

Anyway, there was just the one coupon on a sheet that was mostly an ad for this cookie, and the maker is apparently very proud of the fact that it's "The Official Cookie of Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week."

What? There's the Mercedes logo and shot of runway models. Am I expected to believe that these 60-pound, stick-legged, limp-haired women have ever eaten one of these cookies? I'm pretty sure they have to velcro the clothes onto them because if you wrap a piece of cloth around a popsicle stick, it has a tendency to fall off. And aside from the aforementioned attempt at cache, what does Mercedes-Benz have to do with cookies? Or fashion, for that matter? Why does Mercedes-Benz have a fashion week, and what do cookies have to do with it? Is there an official pizza? Is there an official ice cream to go with those cookies? Is there an official emetic for the models if they should happen to accidentally ingest a cookie? Am I supposed to think to myself, "I think I'll hop in the ol' Benz, drive down to see fashion week, and have myself a cookie?" Why is this good advertising?

It makes me wonder what other disjointed "official" sponsorships are out there.

"The Official Bourbon of Amish Hell Week"

"The Official Pencil of The Microsoft Hot Air Balloon Rally"

"The Official Whaleburger of Greenpeace in America"

"The Official Hot Sauce of The Iditarod"

"The Official Dog Food of The Academy Awards"

"The Official Horseradish of The Democratic National Committee"

"The Official Teddy Bear of Amalgamated Lumberjacks #304"

Advertising sometimes makes my head hurt.

Maybe I should just relax and have a cookie.


Phil said...

I've got a few:

Depends: The Official Adult Diaper of the Pepsi-Cola Spelling Bee

The Official Ball-Bearings of Black History Month

The Official Bullwhip of the ExxonMobil Pony Show

Gilahi said...

I can spell. I've been known to drink Pepsi. I'd definitely buy these adult diapers.

How about:

The Official Tomato of The Benson & Hedges Extreme Poker Tour

Dixie said...

The official caviar of NASCAR.

Something about NASCAR fans eating caviar while they yell about Dale Jr. appeals to me.

Gilahi said...

How about The Official Caviar of The Snuggles Indy-500? Gotta get that sponsorship in there. :-)

Phil said...

Personally I hate Pepsi, but if you think we're on to something let's get the Pepsi folks on the horn!

Gilahi said...

Actually, Phil, since I grew up where I did I'm required by law to drink Coca-Cola. Too bad they don't sponsor "challenge" events like spelling bees as Pepsi does so much.

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

How about this:

Coca-Cola: The Official Beverage of The Whistle Stop Cafe Saran-Wrap Beauty Contest

Energizer: The Official Battery of AARP

Actually, Cialis or Viagra should probably be the official something of AARP, shouldn't it?

I don't know. I'm not very good at this. Can I have a cookie, too, please?

Gilahi said...

"Saran-Wrap Beauty Contest"

Ya gotta love the imagery.

How about "Viagra: The Official Performance Enhancer of The American Hardwood Manufacturers Association"?

Sure. Have a cookie. I understand they're pretty low-salt.

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