Randomness III

I have a new candidate for "Lamest Product Ever". If nothing else, we really ought to give it a "Lamest Ad Campaign Ever" star. You may have seen the commercial on TV. Here it is:



So here's the deal, you fill up one of these incredibly ugly glass balls with water, invert it, stick it in the dirt next to your wilted, dying plant, and voila!, you have a wilted, dying plant with an incredibly ugly water-filled glass ball next to it. Is there anyone out there who thinks that this is attractive?

"Yes, I want to have plants in my house. No, I'm too much of a moron to water them periodically and they die and look ugly. I'll put one of these inverted bovine ball-sack-shaped things in the pot with my plant. It'll be uglier than it would be if it actually died, but at least I won't have to worry about it any more."

Why don't you just get plastic plants?

If a person can't remember to water their plants once a week or so, how are they going to remember to refill these glass balls? It appears to me that yellow and brown leaves are much more attention-getting than the fact that this thing is out of water.

On to esthetics:



Apparently, "Houseplants" doesn't include "Exotic Plants", "Small or Large Plants", or "Hanging Plants". Do I really want to go out and spend a fortune on my orchid and then stick one of these hideous things in the pot? Why don't I just get a little miniature garden gnome or one of those wooden cutouts of a lady bending over so her bloomers show? And as an added bonus, this product is not available in stores!

The TV ad has the standard boy-are-we-good-to-you line where they offer you two Aqua Globes for only $14.99 (plus shipping and handling), but with this special TV offer, they'll send you two more. Note that in the first picture above, the special TV offer has become a Special Internet Offer.

"Wow, two pieces of glass are only $7.50 each (plus postage and handling), that means that four pieces of glass are only $3.75 each. What a deal!! What was that phone number again?"

But to me, here's the real kicker of the ad. This is what's going to finally make up your mind to shell out your hard-earned bucks for this incredible product. They actually go so far as to point out this special "bonus" in the summary at the end of the commercial:




That's right, folks. These thing come in boxes. They call them "gift boxes" in the ads, but you can see them. They're boxes.

How would you feel if you received one of these as a gift? Especially if you know that somebody shelled out $3.75 for it? Heck, J-Money was a bit miffed that somebody spent 26 bucks on her. At least she didn't get a $3.75 houseplant uglifier.

Give me a robotic singing bass any day.