The Meming of Life

It appears that she had some reason to believe that I wouldn't find it, but Photocynthesis tagged me for what is possibly the longest meme of all time. Apparently, I'm supposed to wonder "what the hell", so here we go:




Nah, I'm not really upset, I just liked the picture.

The thing about this particular meme is, there don't seem to be any rules or instructions, I'm just supposed to list a whole bunch of stuff about myself that nobody really cares about. Not even me. Still, in the spirit of good sportsmanship and just to show Ms. Cyndy that she'll have to hide better than that if she really wants people not to find stuff, I'm off.

All About Me
10 Years Ago:
I had several of my body parts replaced with Hefty Cinch Sacks full of Jell-O Pudding. When everybody started doing Bill Cosby imitations every time I came into a room, I decided to have all of my original body parts reattached. I still have my extra head, though. You never know when you're gonna need something.

8 Years Ago:
In a burst of mid-life crisis, I decided that I would no longer obey the laws of gravity or evolution, and for a time became a flying monkey. I soon found that the only occupation available to me was as an extra in "The Wizard of Oz", but being paid scale for performing in a movie that was completed 62 years earlier wasn't enough for me to survive on, so I cleaned up my act, moved to Virginia, and started my new position with my company. Oh, and I got married. I can still fly, too.

6 Years Ago:
The apocalyptic nightmare hit and the entire planet was destroyed in a series of fiery explosions that ended all life on earth just before the kind beings from Nepton-6 took compassion and replaced everything with exact cybertronic duplicates. What, you don't remember that? Oh. Never mind. Just go on about your business as if I hadn't said anything.

4 Years Ago:
Just in case you think everything I've recounted up to this point is unbelievable, in 2005 George W. Bush was inaugurated for the second time.

2 Years Ago:
My hair was darker, I weighed less, I was on track for early retirement, and my idea for an animated movie detailing the life of Sir E. Farquhar Buzzard with Gilbert Gottfried providing the voice of the title character still hadn't caught on. On a side note, I believe this is the second time that I've gotten to work the name E. Farquhar Buzzard into this blog.

5 Yummy Things:
1. Tabasco Sauce
2. Breyer's Heavenly Hash Ice Cream

3. Tyra Banks
4. Egg Nog
5. Black pepper

5 Songs I Know By Heart:
1. "Happy Birthday" (if I know your name)
2. "Wipeout"
3. The Alphabet Song (sung to the tune of "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star")
4. "Tequila"
5. Beethoven's 9th Symphony

5 Places I Would Like To Escape To:
1. Petticoat Junction
2. Maggie's Farm
3. Up Around The Bend
4. Junior's Farm
5. Stone Soul Picnic

5 Things I Would Never Wear:
1. Asphalt
2. Uranium-238
3. Phlegm
4. Carbon paper
5. Crocs

5 Favorite TV Shows:
1. "The Dick Van Dyke Show"
2. Scrambled porn
3. Test pattern
4. Commercials
5. Closing credits

5 Things I Enjoy Doing:
1. ___ (this blog does not contain adult content)
2. ___ (this blog does not contain adult content)
3. ___ (this blog does not contain adult content)
4. ___ (this blog does not contain adult content)
5. Scratching

5 Favorite Toys:
1. Clumps of dirt
2. Sticks
3. Aluminum Foil
4. Dry Cleaner bags
5. Shoe boxes

5 People Who I Am Tagging To Fill This Out:
1. E. Farquhar Buzzard
2. Attila the Hun
3. Tyra Banks
4. Groucho Marx
5. That guy who's always asking for a quarter outside the Subway at lunchtime