Maybe I Should Find A Hobby

Things I wonder about:

Why do advertisers tell me that their product is "not sold in stores"? Is this a good thing? I always think, "What? Couldn't you find one single store anywhere that was willing to put your piece of crap on the shelf?"

And why do they tell me that if I call in the next 10 minutes they'll cut me a deal? Am I supposed to believe that somebody somewhere is aware of every airing of this commercial everywhere in the country and is sitting with a stopwatch to ensure that I've called in time? "You're in the DC area? Sorry, you missed the deadline by 18 seconds."

Why is there a "u" in "four", "fourth" and "fourteen", but not in "forty"?

Why do we clean up, but we scrub down (unless you're a surgeon, in which case you scrub up)?

Why is the alphabet in that order?

What's a hubcap diamond star halo? (Gratuitous song reference here.)

How on earth did "Family Circus" get into all those newspapers?

If Wile E. Coyote was so smart and he could afford all the stuff from Acme, why didn't he just buy something to eat?

Why does every seaside place have a "beach" except New Jersey?

What if they're wrong and everything east of California breaks off and falls into the ocean?

Why does Geddy Lee sound that way?


I lose sleep at night. Dunno why.