Thursday, September 24, 2009

Good Day/Bad Day

It's good to know that during these trying times, equal weight is being given to the important issues of our day.

Good day for: The other half, as federal prosecutors in New York said a review of Bernard Madoff's records showed that only about 50 percent of the jailed financier's customers had lost money -- the rest withdrew more money from their accounts than they deposited. Madoff is serving a 150-year prison sentence for cheating clients out of billions of dollars. (CNBC)

Bad day for: Inequality, as a British store, Debenhams, is launching a line of underpants for left-handed men. The underwear -- made by U.K.-based Hom -- will have a horizontal opening instead of a vertical slit accessed from the right-hand side. The innovation is supposed to help save time and embarrassment for those accessing the area from the left. "In our view," said Rob Faucherand of Debenhams, "this is a vital step toward equality for left-handed men." (Reuters)

And I loved this quote concerning the configuration of right-handed underwear from the Reuters article so much that I feel compelled to add it here:

Almost 10 percent of British men are believed to be left handed but men's Y-fronted underpants have traditionally had a right handed opening from the time they were invented in 1935.

"As a result," Debenhams said, "left handed men have to reach much further into their pants, performing a Z shaped maneuver through two 180 degree angles before achieving the result that right handed men perform with ease."

So any of you left-handed men out there who were lucky enough to make money from Mr. Madoff's schemes should get your hands out of your pants and stock up. Unless you just enjoy that kind of thing.

So where are the left-handed bras that have the hooks on the other side?


Mike said...

I wonder if Bernard Madoff's clients will be charged with recieving stolen property? And if they paid taxes on their supposed earnings will the government charge itself with recieving stolen property?

Gilahi said...

Mike - See? That's the difference between you and me. I was wondering if Bernard Madoff is left handed.

Dixie said...

Isn't a 180 degree angle a flat line? I'm trying to imagine this and can't wrap my head around how someone would make that gesture as it is described.

Gilahi said...

Dixie - I hadn't thought about it, but that is sort of an odd way to describe it. Maybe it's a British thing. Anyway, imagine wrapping yourself in a cylinder (with armholes) such that the right side overlaps the left side on top by a couple of inches. Now, in order to stick your, um, nose out of that cylinder, you'd need to pull the top layer to your right and the bottom layer to your left. Easier to do with the right hand than with the left.

Bilbo said...

Left-handed underwear. What next? I'm reminded of a great line from the old TV show "Harry O" in which detective Harry Orwell was described as "a left-handed nut with a left-handed thread in a right-handed world." I think he and I were separated at birth.

Gilahi said...

Bilbo - So you're a lefty? Did you also make any money off of Bernard Madoff? When you dance, do you spin in the opposite direction of everyone else?

Bilbo said...

Actually, I'm not a lefty...I'm just 180 degrees out from most people. I don't know how much of my money Madoff got...all I know is that most of it is gone. And when I spin when I dance, I usually fall down.

vw: zygam - leg seed.

Gilahi said...

Bilbo - Makes me wonder which direction people spin when they're dancing south of the equator.

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