Monday, April 6, 2009

I Know You're All Wondering Why I Called You Here

There is a certain website that I like to go to (only at night and on weekends, of course) that has hundreds of games that I can play for free. The biggest downside of this site is that before each game I have to sit through the display of an ad for 30 seconds or so while my game is "loading". The only good thing about this is that sometimes the ads can be as diverting as the games. Take this one from degrees.info, for instance:



You can see my source of amusement, can't you? No? It's not enough that they're showing me Christmas trees in April, let's zoom in on the seventh tree from the left:



That's right, internetters, according to the small type on the left, if your talent is "Public Speach", then you're just one online form away from a degree. And if you think the irony here is the idea of getting a "speach" degree online where no one can actually hear you speak, then you've entirely missed the point (and I do have one, as Ellen Degeneres says).

Now I'll be the first to admit that I'm somewhat anal when it comes to spelling and grammar. I remember being on a fishing trip and seeing a small general store that had its offerings listed all around the front of the building: Bait, Tackle, Snacks, Soft Drinks, Beer, Flim. Yes, flim. My first thought was that if anyone should know how to spell, it should be a sign painter. But then I remembered Gene Wilder's character, The Waco Kid, talking to Cleavon Little as Sheriff Bart in Blazing Saddles: "Come on. What did you expect? These are simple people. People of the land. You know... morons." So I let it go.

Then there's the "Wafle Shop" in Alexandria, near The Birchmere. There's a huge awning with "Wafle Shop" on two sides of the building. At least this gets peoples' attention, though, and from everything I hear that's pretty much all this establishment has going for it aside from the fact that they're open 24 hours a day.

But come on. Here's a web designer creating an ad for an online university fergodsake! Wouldn't you think that someone from info.com read and approved this ad? Would you want to get a degree from a site that puts this much care and planning into what they do? Does the phrase, "Do you want fries with that" qualify as public speach? How about, "Welcome to Wal-Mart"?

It makes me wonder if they have degree programs in riting, bookkeaping, bizness, fizzix, or furrin langwidge.

When you get your degree certificate from degrees.info, instead of saying that you graduated Magna Cum Laude, it should say that you chose this school Lawdy How Come?

21 comments:

urban bohemian said...

Ok, first off it's the "Waco Kid" and that is one of my favorite lines in the film. (yes I succumbed to my nerdy impulses and had to correct you)

Also, if I had a dime for every client I asked, "Can someone in your office proof this copy. I really think someone familiar with the material needs to look at it." And the client said they're sure it's fine. -- I wouldn't need to work anymore... ever.

That first option is a little suspect as well. "Healing People" Wow, the more I read all of those items, it's starting to scare me a bit. I don't want to patronize a tutor, medical professional, investigator, etc. and see a print out from "Degrees.Info" hanging on their wall.

lacochran said...

Fred Wafle wants a word with you.

Gilahi said...

Brian - Aargh. I knew that. That's one of my favorite films, too. I fixed it. Thanks.

la - Wouldn't that be Wafle's Shop, then?

urban bohemian said...

Oh! What I completely forgot to say earlier. Down the street from me in Mount Pleasant is Argyle Convenient Store. I know it's totally intentional, but I can't help snicker when I see it.

(and that's Ellen DeGeneres -- just lookin' out for ya)

Gilahi said...

Brian - That's it. I'm mailing all my blog posts to you for editing from now on. Fixed.

Bilbo said...

You would love the warning signs posted all over the construction areas in the Pentagon - they tell you to beware, because "powder tools" are in use. The same signs have been up for well over a year, so I can't possibly be the first person to see them...

Gilahi said...

Bilbo - Given the secrecy at the Pentagon, I wouldn't be surprised if they ARE using powder tools and we just don't know what those are.

bozoette said...

I took a picture of a big sign asking "NEED A PAINER?", just in case I needed someone to administer a little pain. That, however, was one of those morons. Then again, I saw a Maryland State Highway Administration sign along the road advising me to "Reduse Speed." Thanks, I'll do that!

Gilahi said...

Bozoette - The way my job has been going the past few weeks, the last thing I need is a painer. I have one.

lacochran said...

"I Know You're All Wondering Why I've Called You Here"

So, what... no donuts?

Gilahi said...

la - Hey, this ain't no goverment meeting.

fiona said...

Little Miss Spellcheck is the worst!
Oh, wait, that's because I spell in ENGLISH...LOL

Gilahi said...

Fiona - Right. It can't even realize that I misspelled Ellen Degeneres' name and that I meant "Waco Kid" instead of "Cisco Kid". Useless, that's what it is. Thank god we have Brian.

urban bohemian said...

Well I'm glad somebody finally realizes it!

Gilahi said...

Brian - I presume you mean somebody else besides you....

charlotteharris said...

I had a professor whose first language was not English, and our exams were riddled with grammatical errors, sometimes to the point where I couldn't comprehend the question! I think he was hired because he was a subject matter expert at teaching the material. It was the only class in which I didn't get an A - hmmmm...

Gilahi said...

CH - The only class? Wow. Ruined your 4.0 average.

It actually occurred to me after I wrote this that "speech" is a noun, so not only did they misspell it, they used it incorrectly. Shouldn't it be "public speaking"?

Mike said...

Speeling is over rated.

Gilahi said...

Mike - I no! Thanx 4 the comment.

LiLu said...

@lacochran I'd settle for a muffin...

Melissa B. said...

And I'll bet that Wafle Shop owner didn't received his edumacation in the Alexandria Public Schools or, God Forbid, sainted Fairfax County! Or perhaps he did...at TJ, I suppose, where spelling doesn't matter. BTW, don't forget Sx3 tomorrow...this seasonal salute even features a Real Prize!

 
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